self love isn't lonely
what it means to be young and female
what it means to drink tea and think about going to Banksy's hotel
situated on the Apartheid border in Bethlehem between Palestine and Israel.
I almost cried when I saw those children in Princess dresses.
What it means to have had
an abortion and still feel guilt, what it means to love someone
you haven't seen in four months. What it means to have Skype sex.
I still hold my breasts in my hands when I rest on my bed,
I still imagine what it would be like to have a breast lift
or to have them removed due to cancer. Then I thank God for them, no matter
if they are heavy and cannot fit into convienient bralettes from forever 21.
What it means to waste money on being sexy.
I lay in bed with my Uncle's dog Lela, I watch Beyonce's Lemonade
album online, hoping to gain some insight and learn something
while I think of what Chimamanda would be doing right now.
I fuck around on Fruity Loops wanting my voice to be manipulated
wanting to feel myself through vibrations I utter when I am alone,
I know one day it will happen and it will be the only music I listen to.
It is 3pm and I am alone, in a pink bathrobe waiting for that man or woman
in New York to send my passport back and give me my White Privilege.
I think about all the things I will do and know I can't get started on any of it
right now, so I eat my anxiety and debate on a shower, and feel a bit
miserable to be honest, I can smell myself. But I know I have so much
to look forward to and I imagine him on me, pulsating breathing
providing me with oxygen, sucking out my impurities and it makes me
want to do a peace sign to my clitoris, it will be time soon, don't riot
now. Who knew a week could last this long? Who knew I would plan
to move to another country who knew I would go on this tour. Who knew I
would drop out of college three times? Who knew I could still get
educated after so long. What it means to be young and female, to be beautiful
and lazy sometimes, interchanging them when I feel
like letting my muscles heal.
what it means to drink tea and think about going to Banksy's hotel
situated on the Apartheid border in Bethlehem between Palestine and Israel.
I almost cried when I saw those children in Princess dresses.
What it means to have had
an abortion and still feel guilt, what it means to love someone
you haven't seen in four months. What it means to have Skype sex.
I still hold my breasts in my hands when I rest on my bed,
I still imagine what it would be like to have a breast lift
or to have them removed due to cancer. Then I thank God for them, no matter
if they are heavy and cannot fit into convienient bralettes from forever 21.
What it means to waste money on being sexy.
I lay in bed with my Uncle's dog Lela, I watch Beyonce's Lemonade
album online, hoping to gain some insight and learn something
while I think of what Chimamanda would be doing right now.
I fuck around on Fruity Loops wanting my voice to be manipulated
wanting to feel myself through vibrations I utter when I am alone,
I know one day it will happen and it will be the only music I listen to.
It is 3pm and I am alone, in a pink bathrobe waiting for that man or woman
in New York to send my passport back and give me my White Privilege.
I think about all the things I will do and know I can't get started on any of it
right now, so I eat my anxiety and debate on a shower, and feel a bit
miserable to be honest, I can smell myself. But I know I have so much
to look forward to and I imagine him on me, pulsating breathing
providing me with oxygen, sucking out my impurities and it makes me
want to do a peace sign to my clitoris, it will be time soon, don't riot
now. Who knew a week could last this long? Who knew I would plan
to move to another country who knew I would go on this tour. Who knew I
would drop out of college three times? Who knew I could still get
educated after so long. What it means to be young and female, to be beautiful
and lazy sometimes, interchanging them when I feel
like letting my muscles heal.
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